Tuesday, April 20, 2010

WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES



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WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES
 
 
 
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary.....
 
 
 
 
 
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
 
 
 

Day 983 of my captivity....

 

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

 

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

 

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

 

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

 

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

 

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

 

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe, for now....

 

 
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